Sunday, November 18, 2012

Start with the Soul

         When we are born, its the first time our souls meet our bodies. As the first breath enters our lungs our soul is tethered to us until the last one is documented. Our soul already knows its purpose. It already has the features that our physical body is going to possess (i.e. Hair color, eye color, body stature, mannerisms, etc. ). So, in a sense, we grow into our souls not our bodies.

             The mind is a maze we use with pathways, bridges, twists and turns. Each one is different and each one is utilized differently. The two halves work in tandem yet they each work different when tasked individually. Being such creatures that use both sides of our brains, one would think that we would use the halves as whole to improve productivity, yet we find ourselves mentally exhausted from using one side more dominantly. Our souls are tasked from the beginning to lead our bodies in the right direction. We're born with instincts that tell us how to survive. We imprint on our parents, we eat when we are hungry, our soul tells our brain that oxygen is essential for us to live. Growing up is awkward. Our bodies stretch, our hormones change, our interests and views change as well as our goals in life as we slowly mature into an adult.  

       In the very moment we are born into this world we have the knowledge of the universe at our fingertips. Yet we don't have the means to communicate that information. Coincidence? It's as if the universe trusts in the purity we inherit as newborns and allows us to know how to survive. It's no longer a matter of Darwin's theories or whether God so loved the world. When you're pure in heart and true in character the universe will respond to you. If you're less than ready to handle the weight the world hands you, it's then you change. Stress and turmoil affect the soul and it's ability to shine bright when you need guidance. This is where we name Karma and blame Murphy's law for the times the universe doesn't like our decision. When we start to place blame in the situation it's where we lose ourself. Taking accountability for the way you respond is the first step in righting your universe. Take action and make the universe take note of who you are.

          When we hold anger and resentment in our bodies, the organs start to shut down. Animals register those breakdowns first. Dogs have such a keen sense of smell and sense of positive energy, they know exactly when it happens. Anger and jealousy and all the other heavily negative emotions breed like cancers and often mutate into such diseases. Tumors of the soul are not as prominent as tumors of the brain. Not to say children born with leukemia or women who come up positive for breast cancer are the reason they harbor such malice, it is those who are angry at life from the beginning. Those who are a cancer to society and themselves contract sicknesses easier, progress faster and die sooner. Forgiving people in your past and living simply and wholesome is the only way to combat soul-related sicknesses.

Sometimes there are those people that are supposed to be in your life. You meet them, get to know them, and they benefit your life in some way that you know that you two were supposed to meet. This person you'll know for the rest of your life. Whether it be just friends on social media or a friend you ask to move down the street from. Your souls match in a way that entangles them at the edges, like the fraying on a blanket, they get tangled beyond hope of being released. They benefit you in a way that brings you solace, they bring you peace and sometimes they teach you a thing or two about life and about yourself.

Waking up in the morning requires a routine. It's hard to just roll right out of bed in an instant and get ready for the day. Sometimes what moves you isn't moving you the way it should.

When you look into the mirror and see yourself, it's often in the same fluorescent light day in and day out. You see your hair is sticking up in weird and awkward ways because you slept with it wet, you see the blemishes on your skin from that chocolate bar you ate two days ago. You're more likely to look in the mirror and see the flaws that you went to bed with. How did you expect to want to wake up when you see all the things that make you say 'I wish I had a metabolism' or 'I shouldn't have eaten that whole Hershey's when I was at movie night with the girls'. If you were to get up in the morning and  say 'Man. Look at this babe right here! She's so beautiful and smart and she has the most compassionate soul of anyone I want to meet.' You would be giving yourself one big mental hug for the morning. Skip reaching for the coffee cup and saying 'I'm a mess, I haven't even had my coffee yet'. Instead, get up, roll over and try doing ten push ups. Or 10 sit-ups, or even go get your shoes On and go for a light jog. Wake your mind up. Get your head in the game and take on the day looking in the mirror saying 'hey girl! Lets do this you sexy bitch!' And then give yourself a hug! You got up this morning, that's more than some can say about themselves.

Loving Me

Waking up knowing its another day I have to work til i drop
When at home all I know is the pain never stops
Away from it all it seems crystal clear
The reality sinking in brings back the fear.
I want to be loved,
I want to be needed,
I want you to want me,
How's that so conceited?
It's the same day in and day out,
It's embracing the pain and the sadness I'd rather do without.
I'm tired of you pointing out my imperfections
Tired of this endless fear of rejection
I am who I am that's all I know
Without me where would you go
You wouldn't have your life
I wouldn't have this strife
You could have kept on believing you were the only one who's perfect
I would have kept pushing on not just pretending on the surface.
I'm out here working day after day
No rest for the weary as I say.
It's not hard to remedy
Talking isnt your enemy
And if I had it left in me
Id show you a thing or two about loving me.


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Last Days of Summer


Laying face up on the lawn. Arms behind my head, I gaze at the clouds above. Memorizing the way the ground beneath me is cool, the way the freshly cut grass feels smashed underneath the weight of my body. The way the breeze made the slight beating of the sun bearable enough to leave you sunning in perfect contentedness. Closing my eyes I remember a song and I let it play softly and soothingly in my head. Sighing I open my eyes and play shapes with the clouds, dozens of shapes drift by me. The birds chirp merrily as they go about and do whatever it is that birds like to do. The mixture of the cool breeze and the warm sun makes my lids feel heavy and I let the drift down and close. These are all the signs that the summer is finally over. No more warm summer drives to the beach with the top down, without a care in the world. No more Emerald Isle trips in the dead of night for the hell of it. No longer can I open my bedroom window to listen to the raindrops to fall asleep to. Its now back to the cold weather, falling leaves, Halloween around the corner followed by Thanksgiving with Christmas following closely behind. The wind blows softly and the first leaf of fall detaches itself from its branch and floats softly down to the ground. I watch it sway back and forth, spinning, and spiraling slowly down to rest on the ground. With a sigh, I pick myself up, brush the dirt off of my pants and slowly make my way to the porch. I reach for the doorknob and turn to look over my shoulder one more time, just to memorize the way the sun was playing softly through the trees, the way the wind moved softly through the number of lawns and dragging the scent of the approaching dusk closely behind it. With one more sigh I turn and open the door and go inside. ::door closes:: ::music plays softly::

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Help!!

Ok Bloggers!!

Help me out here! I need to sell my handmade jewelry :) Please visit my Etsy shop at:
http://www.etsy.com/people/meganbeale?ref=si_pr

in other news, Im moving to Mississippi.
:/

Not too excited about it really, but what can I do?? Duty calls. ::sigh:: time passes wayyy too quickly sometimes. Im really going to miss home, but Im looking foward to deploying (weird huh?) minus the whole leaving my family for 8 months lol

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Super Mommy


Ok, so all new moms have found out that it is extremely hard to leave your little one at home with a babysitter. But, per the Navy standards, I have to be back in shape before I leave NC in Nov. So I've been, well literally, working my ass off. Haha I've lost 70lbs since I left the hospital. 60 of those lbs quickly dropped off in the first 8 weeks, then the last ten wanted to hold on for dear life. Naturally, it was only til I started working out three weeks ago that Ive started to feel more energetic and almost back to my normal self again. The only thing missing?? The husband, and of course, about three inches off my butt. Im back to a 10 min mile thank goodness and Ive been working super hard on being able to do as many pushups and situps that I could back in A-School. The next step is gaining more control on my impulse eating and pushing myself to do that extra half mile on the treadmil, and pushing out that extra set of ten situps/pushups.


Meanwhile, monkey (thats my nickname for her lol) keeps growing so much! Shes almost, if not already, 14lbs! She is also sleeping through the night thank goodness, and Ive been able to get her to take two 2hr naps a day. Shes smiling, laughing, and really picking up her head now. Shes such a happy baby, she really reflects her parent's calm demeanor and astute personality. She's really picking up on how to keep her mommy's attention fast!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Thank you St. Valentine

Well, about a year ago, Valentines day weekend was the weekend I became pregnant with Jessyca. Wow. A whole year? Seems like yesterday really. Every day she amazes me more and more. She's learning how to laugh, smile, talk gibberish and she is teaching me how much I need her as much as she needs me. Every time I play with her I can feel my blood pressure going down, even when I hadn't realized I was tense and holding my breath. All it takes is for her to recognize my face and she smiles. Making my day bearable, no matter how hard it is with Rob not being here.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Greatest Gift in Life is Love

Man! Today has already been a doozy. No problem though, as soon as I get home I'm holding my kid and giving her tons of kisses on those adorable little cheeks :) I was up early/late last night but how can you really care when you have this little bundle of love that just smiles when she sees your face? Man I love my little girl!
       
        Last night, I hear her stir and I think, damn. I peek over at her and she’s, of course, wide awake! Looking at me she smiles and coos saying "Morning mommy, I’m so glad to see you!", and I smile. Man she already has me wrapped around her finger. There’s really nothing better than that, except when I pick her up I bury my face in her shoulder and inhale that wonderful baby smell. ::sigh:: It’s really better than any cup of morning coffee or the warmest blanket on a cold night. She comforts me, as much as I comfort her. She saves my sanity just by her scent alone. I’m pretty sure that God did this on purpose, knowing that to ensure the safety of newborns; they must be appealing to the parents. Smell, one of the most used senses, is the strongest out of the six senses; at least for me it is.
       She has this way about her that’s totally relaxing. I pick her up and she stops fussing and gives me one of her special hugs. Putting her head down on my shoulder, and wrapping one arm over mine and the other gripping the collar of my shirt. She puts her trust in me completely and that’s the most comforting feeling in the world. If I can’t get anything right, I can make her happy at least.

                                             
        
        God, I miss my husband. I wish he could be here experiencing this with me. I know he feels the same way, I mean, how would any man feel if he couldn’t be there for his family? His duties as a Marine must be fulfilled before anything else unfortunately. I’m so proud of him, even if he doesn’t understand it. He’s my biggest accomplishment in life, and has given me the most precious gift in the world. I know that our marriage is special because I’ve felt the same way about him since the day we met. When we met, it almost hurt to look into his eyes because I felt so swamped by this weird feeling in my stomach. Butterflies were fluttering like crazy and it almost hurt, that’s how I knew I could possibly love him in the future. I was terrified of him, and the power he never knew he had over me. To this day, I am more forgiving of him than I have ever been of any man. It’s mainly because I trust him; trust is a very powerful thing. I trust him to be right even when I feel like I’m losing control (which is a big thing for me). I have to have control over my life or I feel like I’m failing myself... He lets me relax and let someone else take control. It’s still hard to relinquish that controlling side I have, but that’s what partners are for. To help carry the burden for you so you can rest. I am so thankful I have such a wonderful husband.